Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
