i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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