Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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