She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
