my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize