Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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