Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
