Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
