Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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