At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
