eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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