So drunk its hurt
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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