All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
