a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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