Umm I'm too high to move.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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