It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize