Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
