brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I love you.
Bad choice
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