she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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