fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
