3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
