I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
