Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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