Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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