look no pants
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
