Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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