Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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