I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
