I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize