goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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