she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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