sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize