Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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