Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
