his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
