Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
