dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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