So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Randomize
