Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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