No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He passed out mid-signature
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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