he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
