All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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