i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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