Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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