We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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