I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
