pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
