Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
