Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
