I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
