hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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