I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize