We're like a lot better than the average bears
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Randomize