I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
