gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
