I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
