Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
