Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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