We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
