maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
