It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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