The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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