Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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