her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
