Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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