So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
