I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
