I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Too much gin, very little bucket
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
