So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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