when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
