This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
