Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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