omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
