Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
